He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
