it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
