4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize