soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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