i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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