That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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