A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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