Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
