Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
