This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
