Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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