Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
