lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
