WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize