the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
