It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
