i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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