Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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