the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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