4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
These tits shall not be calmed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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