there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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