people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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