if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
