just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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