She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
These tits shall not be calmed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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