Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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