My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Someone shattered a urinal.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
