The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize