We named our party play list daddy issues
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
