We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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