is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
