that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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