Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
