I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
