but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
