gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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