The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
