oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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