Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
