After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
