Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
