Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
