im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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