whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
