Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize