why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
