We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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