...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
