I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
