You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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