I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
