I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
