I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we made out on top of his cat.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
