Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
