its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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