The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
