she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
