If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
