dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
