I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
