My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
