he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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