I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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