are you still at the devil's house?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
