i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
