Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
